We got back together 2 weeks ago because I contacted him for his birthday. He said he is not ready for a relationship but when he knows it will be me. Than I discovered that he is on a dating site atleast 2 times every day. I can tell when he is on it because I can go into it and see who is online at the moment. When I confronted him he just got really mad . I saw him on a Tuesday after not seeing him for 3 months.

Dating Someone Whose Wife Has Died

We’ve worked thru many things but one thing is he still referees to her as his wife. Since I’m the girlfriend I feel like the other woman and she’s still there. I haven’t found a way to let him know how I feel. Don’t know how to approach the subject. He feels they had a perfect marriage and she was an Angel. I’m really understanding with it all just can’t deal with him still referring to her as his wife.

This guy is a younger divorcé with one daughter near the age of my middle child. I have met someone and he acts strange if I mention either of my late husbands. Sounds like you’ve been patient & thoughtful. I’m sure you’ll find ways to invite her to discuss when she’s ready the areas you’re concerned about. A few weeks ago, we talked and agreed the expected calls, communications, etc. would no longer be expected.

Be supportive

At our age we all come with some past. Once in a while you might reference your first husband if only in a story about your kids, right? It’s not so different for those who lost their partner – except the extra weight of grief & how everyone in the room might hold their breath, look away, or change the subject. Now I am the only boyfriend that has lasted for over a month. She has taken me to meet her daughter and 3 grandchildren locally. Then she is taking me out of town to meet her son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren.

I relish the thought of being able to introduce his family to my children in person one day – not just through email and social media. People actually think your lost love can be replaced. I can’t tell you how angry this has made me over the years. You can know a widower loves you only if he does not compare you with his ex-wife, makes an attempt to help you bond with his family and children and is ready to commit to you exclusively. While every relationship has issues, some challenges are unique to dating a widower.

The counselor sounds like they are trying to take a safe approach. Don’t dive straight in to the first relationship that comes along thing. Ignoring that it might just be a great thing… The problem with a lot of therapists and counselors is they are way more messed up than their patients. I somewhat feel the counselor has overstepped boundaries, but I could certainly be wrong.

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She’s very “nice” according to the eldest but they are all shocked and sense an agenda. He was encouraged to start dating by his therapist and went online, picking her I guess as she looks so like late wife. She has been down 2 weekends so far and this most recent one included other guests all close friends of the late wife. Apparently the girlfriend did not fit in at all and while weekend was a disaster .

I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I pray you’ll find comfort and peace. Even when you’re married a long time and the husband leaves, years later, there is a feeling of loss and loneliness but not anywhere near what you’re enduring. I was the one at my First husbands bedside when he was dying. He always said I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I had to choose my child over his addiction.

If you’re both struggling to navigate that, talking with a grief counselor together might help. She told me that she loves me, as I her, but she couldn’t be with me and didn’t know how long this might last. I asked her can I still stay in contact and she said yes just not like before. She also said she understood if I wanted to move on to which I replied I cant see myself doing that. She the rang me the next day to tell me about an incident her youngest was involved in. Then I texted her the next morning to say Hello and she has now asked me not to text her every day like before.

And Ellie counsels a woman who worries she’s missed the marriage boat

He would to have an intimate relationship but I do not agree with this. I am a Christian and he is a Christian. He says he believes there’s no sinning as long as we are, just with each other. I would love to have feedback from other people. The day he started chatting with me he told me that his girlfriend whom he dated for 3 years, died the year before.. Your grief will always be part of your lives, so learning to communicate about it and support one another is often the best thing you can do.

From my experience even marriage does not prevent this. So, am I being a fool or should I give him the time he has ask for and trust him? I love him and I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to be a very good friend with benefits. https://hookupgenius.com/ Primarily, I can not put compassion at the forefront of our relationship anymore. The type of love and yearning I have for him, that he had for his late wife will never reconcile. Unlike you, I am not jealous, and I am not angry.